not wrong body

Not. Wrong. Body. Give yourself a good gift each day and every time you look in the mirror.

Not Wrong Body

07.29.2013

I am at a point in my life and “transition” as a two-spirited (transgendered) person, that I can no longer believe, despite what I see in the mirror, that I was a spirit born into the “wrong body.” This may be due to having plenty of time to process this information, or that right now I enjoy unprecedented support from my family, or I am doing what I can to change the parts of my body that are possible to change (albiet through hormones and clothing only). However, I think that mainly this new self-awareness is due to finding my identity and path into the cultural ways of the two-spirited, and a gift of unprecedented self-worth and self-esteem that I have not previously enjoyed before coming to this path.

I write this because I have just come from yet another transgender support group where the majority of members lament that they were “born in the wrong body,” and cannot see beyond the “wrongness” of their unfair lives. And I simply cannot believe this anymore. I do not want my brothers and sisters to have to believe this of themselves either. I want better for them. Unfortunately, this kind of “coyote talk” creates nothing but dysphoria and self-esteem problems; a terrible self-fulfilling belief that transgendered persons can do nothing to change their self worth; that no amount of hormones or surgery will correct this “wrong body;” or they will always be a pariah…etc. We are not meant to live with such impossible and sad realities. There is better and we deserve to think of ourselves better; and to create better for ourselves.

See, I do not believe that Creator makes extraneous or “wrong” people. I do not believe that I was born “wrong” at all.  Creator does not make “wrong” people and then ask them to change later in life (even if we come to such pathways later in life, as I had at age 30; the path was laid when I was born). I believe that I was born two-spirited and that is just as it was intended.

However, I do not live a charmed life and I recognize that neither do my fellow transgender brothers and sisters. We do not live in an aboriginal world augmented with traditional wisdom and beliefs. Modern society proves each day that it is unkind and intolerant of people who are different. But, I do not find my path and my identity is defined externally by that society.  Modern society may never see me as anything but a “fake man.” But, I have long since given up on being concerned about what others think of me.  I recognize that I am not a gift to modern society (as the two-spirited were in times past; there is no societal or religious equivalent in the western world I live in today and to expect one, I believe, makes me equally intolerant of others’ values/beliefs).

I am a gift that I only give myself. I say it again, I am a gift that I give myself. Being a two-spirited person is totally “in my head” , and not based on what others perceive my gender to be or not to be. My identity comes completely from within. And that is true of all persons– two-spirited or otherwise. Personal identity is just that– personal identity– and the locus of control is entirely within each and everyone of us. And when we depend only on society– family, friends, co-workers– to give us the self-identity we desire (i.e., being “man/woman enough,” being a good parent, a successful person, a good reputation, etc.), it will fail us every time.

Indeed, the modern system is set up to fail us all– two-spirited and everyone else. There are just too many “others” to please to determine your own self-worth and identity by their standards (which vary widely!). There is only one person who can give you the gift of self-worth and self-identity– and it is written plainly in the words– your SELF. Give yourself a good gift each day and every time you look in the mirror. There are no “wrong” persons ever made on earth. We are all here to be as Creator intended. So, be that person. You, too, are the gift that you give yourself.

(C) henry francis redhouse, 2013. Artwork is property of its respective owners.